There was this door. Made of light but not the blinding kind, more like morning light coming through curtains. I walked through it and there was another version of me on the other side. She looked happy. Actually happy. I started crying when I came out of the session because I realized I haven't felt like that in a really long time.
the kettle whistles and i think okay, i'm still here still soft somehow still mine
It didn't happen all at once. During the second session I saw her as a little kid, maybe 7 or 8, and she was scared. I don't know where that image came from but I couldn't stay as angry after that. There's still stuff I'm working through. But something in my chest loosened that I didn't even know was tight.
I know this sounds weird but at some point I just became the ocean. Not like a metaphor, it actually felt that way. I wasn't a person anymore, I was just water moving. There was nothing heavy in it. No anxiety, nothing. Just this feeling of going along with everything. I keep trying to remember what that felt like.
